Strong Enough to Be Gentle

Devotional for Men Who Want to Lead Like Fathers, Not Dictators

Scripture

“Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand.”
— Philippians 4:5 (ESV)

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
— Ephesians 6:4 (ESV)

Devotional

There’s a story Peter Cullen tells—the voice of Optimus Prime. When he got the role, his brother Larry, a Marine, told him:
“If you’re going to be a leader, you need to be strong enough to be gentle.”

That line stuck. It shaped how he voiced a leader millions of kids would follow—not loud, not flashy, not full of bravado. Just steady. Unshaken. Restraint wrapped in authority.

That’s the kind of man your house needs. Not a dictator. Not a doormat. A father.

In Build the Family, I wrote it straight:

“Your kids don’t need a perfect father. They need a present one. A man who walks in repentance when he stumbles—not pride. A man who rejects passivity, embraces responsibility, and refuses to let the world disciple his children for him.” (Chapter 1)

You can be tough. You should be. But if your strength makes your kids flinch instead of feel safe, you’re building the wrong kind of house.

Jesus didn’t strut. He didn’t bark commands. He had all power—and yet He washed feet. He faced demons with a word, but held children in His arms. That’s leadership. That’s fatherhood.

Strength isn’t proven by volume. It’s proven by presence. By tone. By choosing restraint when you could flex. By choosing clarity when your flesh wants control.

The world trains men to dominate or disappear. God calls us to cover.

Gut Check

• Do my kids obey because they trust me—or because they fear me?
• Would I want to be fathered by a man who talks the way I do when I’m angry?
• Does my strength protect, or provoke?

Prayer

God, train my hands for battle—and my tongue for peace.
Make me a father who doesn’t flinch from leadership, but doesn’t need to prove it either.
Teach me to walk like Jesus—strong enough to carry a cross, gentle enough to hold a child.
I can’t do this on my own.
Lead me, so I can lead them.
In Jesus’ name, amen.

Final Charge

You don’t need a louder voice. You need a steadier presence.

Your kids don’t need a perfect father. They need one who won’t disappear when it’s hard. One who won’t trade discipline for control, or love for passivity.

If your strength only shows when you're angry, it’s not strength. If your kids walk on eggshells when you enter the room, you’re not leading—they’re surviving you.

God has called you to more.

You were meant to be the one who stays grounded when the pressure rises. The one who covers, not crushes. The one who knows how to discipline without shaming, correct without breaking, protect without controlling.

You won’t get it perfect. But you can get up. You can show up. You can repent, and you can lead.

So take the hits. Say the hard things. Stay steady when it costs you.
That’s fatherhood.

Now take the call seriously.

Roll out.